She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
