So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
