All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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