sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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