She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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