I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
