She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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