Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
He has the fingertips of a God
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
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