you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
