Got a toothbrush?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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