Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
