Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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