STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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