You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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