so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
