Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
