i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
