The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
