i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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