Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
