Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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