It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
