i permit you to call me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
