I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
