You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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