New invention idea: vibrating tampons
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I love having hate sex.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
