I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
