I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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