okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
