RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize
