Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Randomize
