I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
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