pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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