It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
