I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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