I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
