real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
