pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
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