I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
