My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
