I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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