I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
