I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
