he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
