Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
