Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
where does the pee come out of this thing
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
