So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
