I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Randomize
