they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
