I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
