i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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