I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
